Category: wordplay

My friends are currently on holiday in Cuba. I bet they’re Havana good time.

Harper Seven is a pretty cool name, but if the Beckhams had just used an anagram of it instead, it would be even sharper.

My new years resolution is to stop being so vague about stuff.

I was voted most arrogant kid at my school. Well I guess that’s just something else I’m top in.

I just read a description of a narcissist. I swear they were talking about me.

I bought some fruit trees at the weekend and the guy in the garden centre gave me a complimentary box of insects to help pollinate them. He said they were free bees.

I didn’t know that Kid Rock’s brother is a professional violinist. He isn’t very popular though, apparently there’s something unappealling about the name ‘Kid Fiddler’

There’s one thing I can’t stand when I’m drunk. Up

My wife wanted to know if it would be fine to give her baby a two-letter name. I told her to go for It.

Women are like guns, both work better suppressed

My Henry the Eighth theatre production has been slated in the press, due to the poor acting standards of many of his wives. Heads are going to roll…

Some people are really ungrateful. I took my girlfriend’s rucksack and carried it for her the other day. She wasn’t very happy, we were free-falling at the time.

I’m not too sure what to do with this kilo of cocaine that I found on the beach. I suppose that I’ll just have to deal with it.

I work at the Royal Mint and, to be honest, I make a lot of money.

I was in the offices of the inland revenue the other day and the bird behind the counter was in a wheelchair. I could see everyone else in the Q carefully avoiding the issue and being polite. here are my returns you legless spastic said I Then security came out and did me for tact […]