Category: wordplay

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

A Blood and a Crip walk into a supermarket… They got beef

I applied for a job as a lumberjack, but the post was axed.

“BREAKING NEWS” :- Man drops plate.

Convicted criminals run in my family.

I went to a book burning party the other day, but it turned out that bringing my Kindle wasn’t particularly useful.

Whether you’re being genuine or not, if you ask a pretty girl how she is, you have to do it like Joey!

Kevin Costner has a new job as a minder for Glasgow Rangers. The Proddieguard

I couldn’t get to chess club as its on the corner and I can only move diagonally

I said to my wife “Just be patient”. She wasn’t, now she is one.

I judged a bungee jumping contest and to be honest, I wasn’t impressed. The standard was falling.

My wife was having a go at me earlier because I’d forgotten to redecorate the bathroom, but I was miles away. In The Caribbean, in fact. I must remember to leave my phone behind next time.

My mate asked me if I fancied a Holiday in Norway but I told him I really can’t afjord it.

I like to treat my girlfriend like a punchbag. I don’t actually hit her, I just stand around her with a group of mates talking about how hard we could bang her.

I got the sack at work today. I asked a colleague if she had a stapler I could borrow. I obviously misunderstood what she meant when she said,’ Have a rummage through my drawers.’