Category: wordplay

I’ve been feeling down a little recently, but today I started feeling myself. Probably shouldn’t have done it in Asda though…

I just got a job in the web design team for the Italian power company: Powergen. First thing we need to think of is a domain name that will be suitable. It took a while but we finally thought of one and Powergenitalia.com will be up and running in no time.

Truly I share my birthday (Dec 1st) with Richard Pryor, Woody Allen, Bette Midler and Yamasaki Minoru. 3 Comedians and the bloke who designed the Twin Towers. Boom boom

Tired of people talking about their iPhones? There’s a nap for that.

Today, I tied two sausages together to make ends meet.

esarhp It’s just a turn of phrase.

I travelled 200 miles to an Effingham factory today, when I got there, they had none left!

I’d had a big pub lunch, and 4 pints of lager with it. I told the girlfriend I was going for a siesta. She said “Ooh, I love ice cream. Get me one.”

I always knew MC Tributary had a good flow… It’s a shame he went mainstream.

I was clinging for dear life to the face of the cliff. As the rescue team approached one of the guys shouted “Whatever you do, don’t look down”. So I started smiling.

Have you heard the one about the alphabet woman that ran out of letters? Didn’t think so. She only had i’s for me

HI V. Making high 5’s fun since AD 43.

I complemented my friend on their moustache Now she wont talk to me

When my mate said he was taking me to a ‘cat-house’ I didn’t expect to end up in a bin..

Personally I think I’ve raised my kids really well. That flamethrower made short work of them.