Category: wordplay

Here’s one for all the French folk on here: ‘Un’

My wife gets infuriated with me because I can never remember old phrases. I just think she’s got a potato on her neck.

Next week i’m going to Italy for 3 months. I’m not sure whereabouts though. Probably just Turin about.

A friend of mine built an extension for my castle. It was awful, but it’s the fort that counts…

What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? No ballroom.

I really want to be a wit. I reckon i’m halfway there.

‘Possession is nine-tenths of the law’ That’s why I’m hoping for a reduced sentence

Why do they take organs from pigs and give them to humans? Because pigs can’t play organs.

My mum once told me ” As one door closes another one opens” I don’t think she realised how many advent calendars that’ll be costing her.

I’ve been looking into the pros and cons of optical laser surgery. It’s been a real eye opener.

Ronnie O’Sullivan has been described as having the greatest cue action in the world. I’m not convinced there’s much of an art tostanding in a line and waiting your turn.

Just found out my cleaner is also a tailor… Turns out she’s Maid to Measure

My bank balance is a ?. I guess that makes me a questionnaire.

After working out with my coach, we went to a club and the bouncer said “Sorry mate, no trainers.” So I told him to go home and walked in.

Jokes about controls. They’re not even remotely funny.