Category: wordplay

After 2 hours of wandering around Boots , I eventually found the disposable contact lenses . Aisle C .

I’ve found that Russians are quite volga.

“an incorrect palindrome” read backwards is still an incorrect palindrome.

If you ever commit a serious crime you should turn yourself into the police. That way you’ll be more difficult to identify.

I was riding a 5 year old bareback yesterday. She’s a lovely horse. Shame she’s allergic to latex.

Nine of my mums sisters have been standing outside Miss Selfridges all night holding candles. You can’t beat vigil aunties.

I saw an American flag in shades of grey, with just 40 stars on it. It was very understated.

I was standing alone in the middle of a park one day, thinking to myself about life and its mysteries… Then suddenly something struck me. A woman driver.

My Wife said she wanted a night on the tiles, so I made her sleep in the kitchen.

I make my own fireworks. I have a flare for it.

A pretty lady complimented me on my extremely large package this morning. It sounds so much better before you know I work for Parcelforce.

An official biography has revealed that the Queen Mother had colon cancer at the age of 66 and didn’t wear a colostomy bag. She must have been really dirty in bed.

I remember during my years as a vet when one of the wires on the support machine disconnected and wouldn’t re-fuse. I had to hold on for deer life.

Whenever I’m in Italy I become a rickety old table. I guess I’m just a hopeless Rome antique.

When I swim in the shallow end of the pool I get judged strictly by my looks.