Category: wordplay

I get on great with my new European Roadie. He’s a sound Czech guy.

Why didn’t the Indian boy go to school? He was Sikh.

I’ve held the Longest Sprint record for 2 years running.

Whenever I’m comforting someone who likes correcting people’s grammar. I hold them softly and gently whisper, “They’re, their”.

My daughter just walked in on me and saw my erection. I nearly had a stroke!

When I thought of this joke I was swimming. It was a Stroke of genius.

I like my women like my GCSE results….. D graded.

I bought some Italian boat shoes today. They look really nice, but I keep falling over.

I went to the park with the frisbee i got for christmas. When i threw it i realised it was in fact a boomerang It’s all coming back to me now

My mate keeps talking about his favourite biblical city. I told him not to Babylon.

BBC News – ‘Monaco set for Albert’s wedding’ Del Boy and Rodney are yet to confirm attendance…

My grandfather was a chain smoker. Every time he had a cigarette he got 10 of his friends to light up too.

My girlfriend keeps telling me that making clothes based puns is really not funny. Corset is!

Killed a chav earlier, so I dug a hole & buried him. ‘innit.’

I was at a party with some mates the other day and one of them said to me, “Is that the queue for the punch bowl over there?” So I went over to the queue to find out and was told that it was actually for the buffet and that the punch had all gone. […]