Category: wordplay

A friend of mine said “I think I’ll never understand what a tachyon is.” I replied “Don’t worry, it’s just a matter of time.”

I told my friend I was going to drive to Africa in my car. “Sudan” he said ? “No, its a hatchback”

I bought a book called ‘The Word Finder and Spelling Reminder Ring Binder’. It’s a rhyming dictionary.

My nails are up to scratch.

Saw the worlds biggest fan last week. It blew me away.

I woke up a changed man this morning. But it was his day off and he prefers the term ‘Transgendered’, so he was livid.

Just bought a feather duster. If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s filthy chickens.

Irish people like their deodorant to be sure.

If your ex dies, that makes her an ex ex? If you killed her during kinky foreplay… is she a triple ex?

The popemobile is useless. Not enough free texts.

Want an anagram of “Rodeo incidents”? Consider it done.

Ariel Laxatives…. Thats another load off your mind.

I got done for shoplifting in ASDA today. I paid for six cans of Sprite at the self checkout, but when security checked my bag he discovered I’d picked seven up.

Just bought a genuine Apple corkscrew. It’s a real iOpener.

My girlfriend is heavily pregnant so I’ve spent the holiday period doing the fatherly thing by reading a load of baby books. I’d forgotten just what a good read ‘The Hungry Caterpillar” is.