Category: wordplay

My friend asked me to come up with Eleven jokes about Wimbledon. I think Tennis enough.

I told my mate that from now on, I’m going to put a word for average in every sentence I say. He just laughed and thought it was a silly idea. “No, I mean it.” I replied.

There was a downs syndrome that worked in a museum all his life just sweeping up, he used one broom his entire working life. Talk about tard with the same brush.

The Daily Star headline : “Brit soldiers put Taliban in a jam” Wow, I would buy that!

Bono – putting the ‘poser’ into ‘composer’.

My Rolex broke while I recorded a film of myself brutally fisting my girlfriend. Still, it’s worth a watch.

There’s a fine line between my rolled up 10 note and the coffee table.

I alway’s beat my friend at blow football, He sucks.

I saw a man wearing a tye-dye t-shirt ealier. Who knew you could make garments out of dead lady boys?

I always end up meeting girls with lots of baggage. It’s probably the worst thing about being a bellboy.

My parents were so poor that one Christmas they could only afford to buy me a yo.

So the head of IMF is in a 24 hour home detention and one armed guard is to be deployed at all times. That’s a bit silly, a one armed man can easily be overpowered!

My girlfriend has told me to quit my mainstream Greek religion… She’s being unorthodox.

BBC News: England forced to settle for draw. Does this mean we can now start bring our Troops home, Alive?

The wife just said to me she’s going to black up her face and sing ‘Camptown Races’. Wonder if she’s pre minstrel?