Category: wordplay

I had an argument with my dentist about the rinsing of my dentures. But we’ve managed to sort things out. It’s water under the bridge.

My wife has left me because she thinks that I am both racist and childish. I don’t get her problem, I AM the White Power ranger after all.

I took a bird back to my hotel. As we started ripping off each others clothes I asked, “So where are you from?” She said, “Can’t you guess from my accent?” as I whipped off her bra and looked down at her flat hairy chest I shrieked, “Man chest. … Ahhh.” She said, “No, Close, […]

I have no privacy anymore since my sister started dating a dance teacher. I hate it when they come waltzing in my room without knocking.

As I sped away in the stolen car, I lost control and crashed right in the middle of a bunch of trees. I looked out of the window and new that I had to give up. I was surrounded by the copse.

Clearasil soon regretted moving their factory to London when Hackney disappeared overnight.

I was buying an iPod in Argos at the weekend and waiting for it at the delivery point. First they brought me out a lawn mower by mistake, then a set of pans and finally a bike. It was a catalogue of errors.

Blind man’s buff. He doesn’t know it though.

I was in a caf in Paris last week, and this French woman wouldn’t give me any chocolate pancakes. So I crpe’d her.

Pulp Fiction – ”Orange juice is made from apples”

Who invented the isles around Britain? A Scilly Wight Man?

So the Pandas at Edinburgh Zoo have failed to mate in the 36 hour window for this year. Personally I’m bored with this black and white menstrual show.

I have a joke on insomnia and ill never get tired of telling it.

I got attacked by muslims earlier…… Iran!

In relation to the Boxing Day stabbing on Oxford Street, Detective Chief Inspector Dunne, of the Metropolitan Police’s homicide command, said that nothing was being discounted. Doesn’t sound like much of a Boxing Day sale to me.