Category: wordplay

I climbed down into a gigantic iron mine the other day. I was in ore.

Most trouser repairs are done on the fly.

There are a few hoodies in my wardrobe. I’ll let them out when they give me my phone back.

Why were two astronauts complaining after coming out of a bar on the moon? Because there was no atmosphere..

My wife call’s me “Sleepyhead” I’m not tired, I’m impotent.

My son told me he wants to become a household name. That’s why I now call him ‘Fairy’.

Plosive Consonants, Bug me Big Time

It’s hard to say how much I love my family. That’s throat cancer for you.

After having an STI test i was gutted and decided to speak to my wife it wasn’t easy but she had to know, she’d find out sooner or later she went mental, trading in the galaxy for a subaru was a bad idea i guess.

The wife said, “Say one more innuendo and I’m leaving you!” “What, even a little slip up?”

Spent most of this week planting crops. The jockeys are furious.

My friends obsession with his new courier job is getting out of hand. When he told me he’d got a job today delivering a parcel from London to Newcastle for only 20 quid I said to him, “You’re taking this too far.”

Eating at this new Hitler-themed breakfast place, Luftwaffles.

I tried a new restaurant last night, the owner is half Korean and half French. I had dogs legs.

What is a prisoner’s favourite dessert? Anything, as long as it’s custody.