Category: wordplay

what do you called a lemon that helps.. lemonade

As Shakespeare used to say: Prose before hoes.

I was lost for words when my wife beat me in Scrabble.

My computer keeps crashing. Must be the driver.

My friend showed me the fish at the bottom of his garden. One of them fluttered its eyelashes at me, then quickly swum away. I think it was a little coy.

Can’t stand lying down.

If a shrink retires does that make him a shrunk?

My friends making loads of money after he developed a toilet that automatically flushes. Personally a think the whole thing is just a splash in the pan.

My mate has no luck with women and whenever he’s down in the dumps he gets a new girlfriend. So I’ve told him try somewhere else

My wife keeps threatening to leave me because of my obsession with chocolate bars. She’s bounty to leave any day now.

It’s not so much plagiarism as “Recycling other peoples’ success”.

I think it’s thyme to admit I have an obsession with seasonings.

My boss walked up to my desk the other day and asked for a word. ‘Trampoline’ I replied.

My window has a problem with draughts. It just can’t beat me

Cancer, now theres a tropic I don’t want to talk about