Category: wordplay

The inventor of the Monorail has a one track mind.

A synagogue fell on me yesterday. Ive been feeling a bit subjewed.

I’ve just heard in the last few minutes that Whitney Houston is dead. Shame too, she was always good for crack.

I can’t wait to go back to work: my female boss said she hopes to see a nude erection from me next year!

I enjoy my job as a psychic. It’s just the early mournings I find hard to deal with.

I pulled a sicki the other day…. …Yeah, that stand up comedy night was a real ice-breaker

This random woman keeps having a go at me for my ‘obsession’ with biblical figures. What a weirdo. I don’t even Noah.

My commanding officer went mental at me for not “standing properly” on parade. What an attention seeker.

I knocked on the door of the Dragons Den TV studio earlier. They were out.

I’ve just bought a new fridge that chills to absolute zero. How cool is that?

Hablan Thats sounds like A Plan

I’ve just pulled off the mischievous act of putting a pickled flower bud in my mates dinner. It was a caper.

Decimals have a point.

“EU leaders begin crucial summit” Like me, the BBC know it is important, they just don’t know what it is.

I’m having problems with erections. I can’t get planning permission from the wife.