Category: wordplay

I’ve finally met Miss Right. I knew there would be a stroke victim willing to put up with my jokes.

The Queen does not forecast any significant reign today.

I had a mixed, Caesar Salad today, just before I met my last victim. I saw, I conquered, I came.

The Earl of Sandwich The original Roll Model.

Me and my mate are constantly fighting over who’s silkworm is the best so tonight we’re gonna have a spin off.

Sad to hear that soul legend Bill Withers is no longer with us. He’s changed his named by deed-poll.

What do you call a Chinese man that helps people down stairs? Ray Ling.

My wife said, “While you were at work, I had a gang-bang with eleven footballers”. I said, “Come again” She said, “Maybe later. I’m still a bit sore at the moment”.

I was bored on a long flight earlier, so I decided to kill some time by getting really drunk. My co-pilot went mental.

A man came up to me in the pub and said, “On your marks, get set … go” I said, “Are you starting?”

I had a date with a lazy mathematician. It didn’t work out.

I started seeing this girl from work.Doctors say it’s a very rare occurrence for a blind man.

“Chile police seek ‘fire starters” Well if I was a cold officer I would want a fire going too.

That brain-teaser hotline is an absolute con. I phoned it the other day, but there was no answer.

As a claustrophobic epileptic, I’ve always found it hard to fit in.