Category: wordplay

Kids do the funniest things. I just watched my three year old open a cannister of nitrous oxide. I couldn’t help but laugh.

We’ve got flash floods in my area today. I’ve already found myself a Rolex in a puddle.

I recently saw this girl while I was out one day, Our eyes kept meeting but neither of us had the courage to talk to each other. Eventually I went over to break the ice. Thats when I was asked to leave the ice rink.

The wife asked me to rent a black comedy while I was in the video shop. Not quite sure how I had got the ‘wrong end of the stick’ by turning up with ‘The Best of Kenan and Kel’

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wifi.

I typed an essay in Word about a concerned Bugs Bunny. I then saved it as ‘Whats Up.doc’

Girlfriend has just asked me if I want to watch a dirty movie. Was rather excited, until she showed me a DVD with chocolate smeared on it.

If you forget to say ‘Pik’ before a sneeze, you can always say ‘Bacca’ after it.

I called my wife fat yesterday, I don’t know why, her names Sarah.

BBC news: Jordan clashes leave one man dead Katie Price finally snapped then?

My girlfriend just texted me and asked for me to call her later. I’d prefer to carry on calling her Sarah to be honest.

i hope i never get my hands tangled together. fingers crossed.

When people ask me where I’m from, I always say ”a lovely little village in Hertfordshire, not far from Knebworth, called St Evenage.” It sounds better than Stevenage.

I gave my girlfriend a grilling after suspecting her of sleeping around. I give her ‘third degree’ burns.

I fell over at the cash machine earlier, but it did say “Balance on screen”