Category: wordplay

The fuse went in my wife’s hair dryer, so she asked me to fit another. I refused.

Although I used to hate school holidays ending. I always came to terms with them

I’ve gone back to heroin as I can’t see any methadone in my madness.

Just got back from my mates ‘Mars’ themed fancy dress party. Lacked Atmosphere.

I can remember getting stoned at school… The teachers where a lot more brutal in my day.

As a kid I wanted to be a gingerbread man. But as I grew older I realised I wasn’t cut out for it.

I always wanted to be an ointment, but I never applied myself.

I asked Paris Hilton, “Do you have many faults?” “I have lots!” she replied giggling, “That’s where I keep all my money and jewelry.”

I made an example of myself at the deed poll office today. I changed my name to Eg.

I’ve lost so many bits of Scalextric. I just can’t keep track.

Manslaughter: The sound heard while watching women park their cars.

We were forced to call off the Annual Beer Festival last night after all the rain. It was just dampening our spirits.

I think I’ve lost my voice. Having said that, I must be better now

I don’t see why the weatherman is fussed on if it is going to rain while people are at Reading. Personally if my book starts to get wet, I just go back inside

I’m in dispute with Sky at the minute as they’re trying to charge me for my satellite dish. I’m sure they told me it would be on the house.