Category: wordplay

Ethics wise I’m very procrastinate I’ll put the hyphen in later

Hollandaise is widely regarded as the Queen of Sauces. It never reigns but it pours.

Today is National Librarian Day. They kept that quiet.

Me and my Ex had a falling out when we became mimes… We don’t talk anymore.

Where do bees go to the toilet? BP Stations.

Can anyone recommend me a good American sitcom set in a bar? Cheers.

I asked my mate the other day, “Where’s your mum from?” He replied, “Alaska.” I said, “Don’t worry, I’ll ask her myself.”

Pulled a Polish girl last night. Turns out it was Mrs Muscle.

“Mum, can I have a kit kat?” “Yes, as long as i can have a finger.” “ewww.”

Seeing some of these female athletes in the Commonwealth Games reminds me of my Korean ex-girlfriend, Man Lee

Man goes up to a woman in a bar Man: “Hi, I’d like you to temporarily relax your standards in exchange for money” Woman “What sort of woman do you think I am?” Man: “Sorry…that came out wrong. I meant ‘Can I buy you a drink?’”

To keep slim I jump queues. It reduces my wait.

I’m quite a hit with the chicks. I mostly get slaps but there’s also the odd kick every once in a while.

My doctor has just told me that I have male genitalia somewhere inside my body, I’m finding it hard to grasp.

I’m going to Hooters for lunch today..They do great baps in there.