Category: wordplay

I once had an affair with a member of the Royal family. I’m not allowed to say who , for regal liasions.

Has anyone tried that new aftershave made in tribute to the Hindenburg disaster? Eau De Humanity.

I borrowed some eggs, flour and sugar from my neighbour. I’m making a sponge cake.

My grandfather worked in a medal factory when he was younger. He made the Military cross. Partly because he was the worst worker they’d ever seen.

I hate vines; theyre way too creepy for my liking.

took my sister to see The devil Inside the other day. I keep telling her its called an ultrasound, but she wont listen.

I had a fencing lesson today. Never try to sell a stolen T.V. outside a police station.

After six months and still no word, I’m beginning to think my Microsoft Office order was unsuccessful.

Just heard someone say, “It’s better to be safe than Soz” I hope they get hit by a Loz.

I caught the eye of this girl at the club. I knew I shouldn’t have worn my fishing hat.

The accelerator on my DeLorean got stuck down but I managed to catch it in time.

I just bought a muslim cow with a drinking problem. His name is Moo Hammered.

My girlfriend had an awful accident today. He was ginger and weighed 6 pounds 9 ounces.

Mountaineering is ok, up to a point.

Some people call me Mayfield Avenue. That’s my street name.