Category: wordplay

Although the export of vegetables has currently been banned due to the risk of E.Coli, people living near Germany should still be wary of Border.Coli.

Congratulations to Li Na on being the first Asian to win a Grand Slam in Tennis. Or Lithium Sodium, as she’s known to geeks everywhere.

I’ve decided I want to donate all my organs… I’ve always prefered pianos to be honest

If you would like to help with the restoration of our local jeweller’s shop, please give us a ring.

I’m not going to lie, my bed’s broken.

Confucius say: It is good for boy to meet girl in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl

My wife nearly broke up with me today, claiming I use catchphrases too often. I just stood there and yelled out, “Just do it!”

My black mate dreads Father’s Day. Then again, he’s a Rasta and dreads every day.

When I decided to sell my extensive record collection, my friends told me it was total Madness. I disagreed though, they only made up a small percentage of it.

I was having a drink with Stephen Hawking when the barman said, “Another round, lads?” Stephen said, “No I think we’re going to call it a night now”. I said, “Speak for yourself, mate”

I was at the hospital when an optometrist accidentally fell into a lens grinder. He made a spectacle of himself.

In America, “Casino Royale” was released as “Casino Quarter Pounder with Cheese”.

Did you hear about the whistling fisherman? He was always out of tuna.

Have you seen those new WD40 cans where they suggest ‘even more uses’? Well I saw mine had ‘prevents mud from sticking to spades’ written on the can. So there I was sat at home, bored on a wet weekend in Croydon and I had a brainwave, I thought I could do my bit for […]

I was hanging with a couple of friends this morning when I thought, These suicide pacts aren’t for me.