Category: wordplay

My new job as a taxidermist is pretty boring. All I do is sit around and stuff.

BBC: DR Congo boat sinking kills 140 Serves him right for having a floating surgery if you ask me…

What do you call an alligator wearing a tanktop? An investigator.

If you want to stop murders in your area, put up a scarecrow.

A young boy goes to bed with a stiff problem. He wakes up the next morning with a solution on his hands.

Positively-charged atoms are attracted to negatively-charged ones. That’s ionic.

What tunes will make a woman fall in love with you? Fortunes.

I just got hit in the head by a falling number 7. It struck me as odd.

snakes + spiders + heights + flying + dying + dark + dentists + needles + clowns = The sum of all fears

Three crotchets waltz into a bar.

An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.

I’m sick of ATMs these days. They just don’t make cents.

I’ve been going out with my native American girlfriend for a while now. So last night I decided to go down on bended knee.

I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member. I don’t know how I get away with it.

I went to the beach to check for signs of a tsunami but the coast was clear.