Category: wordplay

If everyone is unique, don’t we all have something in common?

Stephen Fry has opened a grocery store. He called it ‘Melon Cauli’

I got stopped due to speeding. Thanks to the tree.

Q; What’s worse than having toothache? A: Gary glitter giving you a filling

I’ve started selling turbans dipped in orange jelly and chocolate. I reckon Jaffar Cakes will be a hit.

The problem with a fifty pound note is that it is too heavy to carry around.

I was filling up with petrol the other day when a fellow motorist took the pump out of my mouth and put it in my car.

This morning I survived a frenzied dog attack in just my underpants. What a dog was doing wearing my pants, is anyone’s guess.

Two chromosomes walk up to a night club but the doorman said “Sorry, no genes.”

OAP’S in an NHS ward in Cardiff were given tambourines and maracas to use as panic alarms . It’s believed hospital bosses could now face serious re-percussion

Are these bulbs heavy? No Must be light bulbs then!

Where do horses with 1 leg live? An unstable.

I saw my local fishing shop was advertising a free pint of maggots if you spent over 20 in-store. Needless to say, I didn’t take the bait.

BBC News: Eurozone ‘to approve’ Greece loan. I can’t help but feel someone messed up with the negotiating on this one.

My girlfirend has just listed her 9 favourite qualities in me: Brave Intelligent Gentle Polite Energetic Nutty Industrious Sensitive