Last week in the UK a fiv …
Last week in the UK a five year old child was shot dead with an air rifle. Have you ever heard of a more appropriate time for the phrase “I told you it would end in tears.”?
Continue ReadingLast week in the UK a five year old child was shot dead with an air rifle. Have you ever heard of a more appropriate time for the phrase “I told you it would end in tears.”?
Continue Readingmy girlfriend walked in and said i’m too childish for her. i nearly chocked on my lego.
Continue ReadingMy mum said i’ll be in shock at uni because i’m too childish. That’s pathetic, just because I didn’t let her in my castle to play with my dragons.
Continue ReadingMy wife said to me, “I’m sick of you being very immature. Any more of it and I’m leaving you.” I said, “I’m sorry.” She said, “Well at least you apologised.” I said, “No, I just farted, hehe.”
Continue ReadingI was sat in my police car when i got a shout on the radio that there was a robbery in progress. I got there as quick as i could, just in time to catch one of them. We struggled violently, and i ended up getting him in a very painful armlock. He struggled some […]
Continue ReadingWhy is it when you say i love children it is seen as nice but when you get specific it is weird I love 8 year olds
Continue ReadingI’m going to open a bar called Rapunzels. That way the ladies can really let their hair down.
Continue ReadingA cannibal gets fed up with his wife and decides to kill her and serve her to the rest of the family, leaving them unaware it is their mum they are eating. They are all enjoying the dinner when the daughter turns to the father and says, “This is lovely, dad. What is it?” “Your […]
Continue ReadingI’m the type of guy who puts the poo in swimming pool.
Continue ReadingMy wife accused me of being childish as we left the fair, so I wouldn’t let it go. “Alright, your not childish, but for God’s sake let it go will you?” my wife moaned. “Not until you say you’re sorry and that I’m not childish” I replied. “Ok, I’m sorry and your not childish, now […]
Continue ReadingWho’s boss of the pencil case? The Ruler.
Continue ReadingMy wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up… So guess who is not allowed in my tree-house now!
Continue ReadingAfter my dinner guests complaining my Stir Fry was a little salty, I went back to the kitchen to see where I could have gone wrong. “ahhhh” I thought that’s it as I read the recipe book, Step 4-Toss in the pan. They should really be more clear.
Continue Readingmy girlfriend told me all im getting for christmas is an empty sack. jackpot !
Continue ReadingMy wife had the cheek to call me “Immature”. Unfortunately for her, I said it at the exact same time so now she’s Jinxed!
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