Category: animals/insects

Why did the chicken cross the road? To report to the police the stalker who keeps following it and questioning it’s every move.

Whats the difference between “Beer Nuts” and “Deer Nuts”? “Beer Nuts” are a dollar twenty-five and “Deer Nuts” are under a buck.

Before I dump my load into our pet dog, I like to reach around and bring him off first. Pets at Home. Where pets come first

I felt like having a sing today, but as soon as I got into it, my wife yelled at me to get the cat out of the blender. So I did. Then I started singing again.

Andrew Flintoff was out for a duck yesterday. They were half price in Tesco.

What are we going to get our kids now the go go hamsters are said to have cancerous toxins in them? If only there was something hamster like that moved about, we could even put it in a ball to run around the front room and at night it could sleep in a cage. If […]

I let my dog off his lead to have a bit of fun with the ducks. Within minutes there was blood, feathers and dead ducks all over the place. He just sat there watching.

A true test of whether the octopus really is a psychic would be to give him a prediction that’s lower than 50/50 odds.

A chameleon walks into a bar … And never got served.

I was talking to a wildlife expert earlier. I said, “how do you tell the difference between a male and a female hedgehog?” He said, “easy: the males have got loads of holes on their chest and a pained look on their face.”

Just been to a seminar discussing mythical Welsh creatures. It didn’t half drag on.

What do you call a cat with no legs? Dog food.

I have a Husky voice. I was raised by dogs in Alaska.

What bird gets out of breath easily? A puffin!

What’s the difference between a weasel and a stoat? One’s weasily recognised – the other’s stoatally different