Category: animals/insects

What do you call a cow’s moustache? A mooustache

What noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster!

I’m trying to make a soft drink out of crushed marsupials. I’m going to call it Coca-Koala

I wonder if dolphins have tattoos of fat chicks on their fins?

My girlfriend said she loves me dearly, so I attacked with a pair of antlers and mounted her.

I was desperate for the toilet earlier today. I had a little turtle-head popping out. I knew I should have chewed it properly.

You can lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs. Not true! My missus is always ‘falling’ down those darned steps.

2 owls are playing pool when the first one misses the ball. The second owl says two hits. The first one replies ‘two hits to who?’

Just walked in the kitchen, my dog was face down, flat out and there was dog food everywhere. Must have been pedigreed.

Definition of we know what you are up to Katie Price seen in deep conversation with Kate and Gerry McCann about her upcoming family holiday to Portugal

I was on the farm trying to milk a cow earlier but it didn’t work out I looked like an udder fool.

The hardest part of owning a dog is telling him he’s adopted.

Why didn’t the chicken cross the road? She was in Ireland; she didn’t want to get beaten by the roosters.

A bear walks into a bar and goes, “I’ll have…………….. a beer, please.” The barman says, “Sure, but why the big pause?” The bear replies: “I’ve got Alzheimer’s.”

People often ask me why I find wild pigs uninteresting. To be honest they just boar me.