Well at least we now know …
Well at least we now know what BMW stands for. Brakes Might Work.
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‘Save the Polar Bears’ W …
‘Save the Polar Bears’ Why? If we were in their position, what would they do. Eat us.
Continue ReadingOn a scale of 1 to 10, ho …
On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad are you at reading music?
Continue ReadingWhat’s worse than a joke …
What’s worse than a joke without a punchline?
Continue ReadingI don’t see what the big …
I don’t see what the big deal is about everybody hating Rebecca Black.. I’ve always hated Blacks.
Continue ReadingAfter starting out great …
After starting out great my relationship new girlfriend has really taken a turn for the worse. Suddenly all I get from her is nagging. It’s all ‘wondering eye’ this and ‘unfaithful’ that I swear she’s sounding more and more like wife
Continue ReadingI still remember the day …
I still remember the day me and my other half were viciously attacked by a group of good-for-nothing Saudi’s. There we were standing together on a beautiful morning, right in the middle of a crowded city at rush hour, minding our own business, when out of no where these crazy, religion-fuelled Arabs came flying at […]
Continue ReadingMy wife is so paranoid sh …
My wife is so paranoid she thinks “Internet Banking” is my own private rhyming slang! Although in fairness, I did use the term to explain why I had a 35 minute shower.
Continue ReadingA Welshman, an Irishman, …
A Welshman, an Irishman, a Paki, Jimmy Carr, two lesbians, a Jew and my neighbour’s nine-year-old daughter walk into a bar. The barman screams, “DUPLICATE!” And then he says something bad about Americans.
Continue ReadingI like to go to beaches e …
I like to go to beaches early in the morning and bury metal items with ‘Get a life!’ written on them.
Continue ReadingThe wife’s just cooked up …
The wife’s just cooked up a huge pot of Corned Beef Hash I don’t know why, but I can’t stop eating it.
Continue ReadingSurely cows would live lo …
Surely cows would live longer if they werent made of steak and leather jackets
Continue ReadingMy mate stole a cheap mat …
My mate stole a cheap mattress last week. I don’t know how he sleeps at night.
Continue ReadingWhat has no beginning, no …
What has no beginning, no end and nothing in the middle? A doughnut
Continue ReadingI just watched my daughte …
I just watched my daughter’s netball team play for a place in the under eleven’s final. What a semi.
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