My god, the traffic these …
My god, the traffic these days is a state. Just the other day, I rear-ended a woman at rush hour. I’m glad I don’t own a car.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Facebook administrators w …
Facebook administrators won’t allow me to register my daughter as my wife. Hopefully my group campaign will teach ’em…
Continue ReadingOur fuse box blew yesterd …
Our fuse box blew yesterday so my missus waited in for the guy to come and fix it. Its all working now she said, when she phoned me. Ian did great job. Ian? I said His names Jim. Well thats funny, she replied, it said ELECTRIC IAN on his van.
Continue ReadingMy son has just turned 20 …
My son has just turned 20 and asked me, “Dad, how will I know when I’ve become a man?” I said, “The best way is to look at your day-dreams. A boy day-dreams about being a secret agent or being Spiderman. When you’re a man you’ll day-dream about a fully-intact hairline or the ability to […]
Continue ReadingThought Spurs had signed …
Thought Spurs had signed a new right-back but it turned out to be Hutton dressed as Lahm
Continue ReadingIs reverse paranoia the f …
Is reverse paranoia the fear that you’re following someone?
Continue ReadingMy cocaine empire is stru …
My cocaine empire is struggling in these hard times, it’s all gone to pot.
Continue ReadingAffairs in the workplace. …
Affairs in the workplace. Putting the secret into secretary.
Continue ReadingJust started the coast to …
Just started the coast to coast bike ride – there were a few false starts thanks to a guy with an overenthusiastic starting pistol, but we got off in the end..
Continue Readingegger said: ‘Where would …
egger said: ‘Where would we be without maps?’ answer: In the same place, we just wouldn’t know where that place is.
Continue ReadingThe other day, an attenda …
The other day, an attendant stopped me in a hospital car park to tell me, “You can’t park here. It’s badge holders only.” I replied, “But I have got a bad shoulder.”
Continue ReadingThat’s the last time I go …
That’s the last time I go to a table top sale. There were hundreds there, but not one for sale.
Continue ReadingMy gran asked me to go ro …
My gran asked me to go round there earlier and help her in the garden. So I went round there and pushed her out the back door.
Continue ReadingPolice were taken by surp …
Police were taken by surprise earlier on in London. As they entered a top floor shopping center they were confronted and attacked by a 50 strong mob! They must have escalated into a riot
Continue ReadingJust witnessed my mate ma …
Just witnessed my mate masturbating over broken bricks and stones. Thought it was a bit odd Then I remembered he had said he was always saying he was into a bit of hardcore.
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