Just got a message from m …
Just got a message from my mate telling me he had won the national ottery. ‘Lol,’ I replied, ‘typo?’ ‘No, send fish now!!!!’, he returned.
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MSN News; Trusted courier …
MSN News; Trusted courier led the US to bin Laden. Thousand’s of troops, millions of pounds of technology, and all it really took was a nice bloke from DHL.
Continue ReadingWhen I came home my girlf …
When I came home my girlfriend told me that my best mate came and fertilized her crops. I thought thats weird, I’m sure she doesn’t even play Farmville!
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the pa …
Did you hear about the painting contest? It ended in a draw.
Continue ReadingMy beloved golden retriev …
My beloved golden retriever died the other day, so I had him skinned and his hide turned into a cardigan. Have to admit, it’s rather fetching.
Continue ReadingScientists discovered two …
Scientists discovered two things today : A new diet-plan for Cannibals ; And a cure for Anorexia .
Continue ReadingI hear when John James go …
I hear when John James got out of the Big Brother house, the first thing he wanted to do was put a shrimp on the barbie. Surely Josie’s worth at least two barbies?
Continue ReadingI named my new rabbit Flo …
I named my new rabbit Floppy. He has Erectile Dysfunction.
Continue ReadingPeople who say they shave …
People who say they shave every day are just bare-faced liars.
Continue ReadingMy mate just beat me at K …
My mate just beat me at Kerplunk… That was the last straw.
Continue ReadingWhats better that ignorin …
Whats better that ignoring an emo’s suicidal facebook comments? Liking them
Continue ReadingAs I drove down a country …
As I drove down a country road I saw a sign that said “left to Bradford,” I thought “what a turn off.”
Continue ReadingAfter a shake up at work …
After a shake up at work I soon found my self on the managerial merry go round, I must work at the most boring theme park in the world.
Continue ReadingJedward are living proof …
Jedward are living proof that two half-wits don’t make a wit.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call it when …
What do you call it when you go down on a virgin? The Hymen-lick maneuver
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