My mate said he was going …
My mate said he was going to start up his own business”hot air balloon rides for fat people”. I said “cant see it taking off mate”.
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I had a house destroyed b …
I had a house destroyed by a tree yesterday……. Now its a flat
Continue ReadingWhats the difference betw …
Whats the difference between a Chinese takeaway and my 6yr old daughter? I ate my Chinese in last night
Continue ReadingI was walking down the ro …
I was walking down the road last night when a strange car started following me. It was a Peel P50.
Continue ReadingI travel around circuses …
I travel around circuses and tell the owners when their coconut stalls are getting too old. I’m the shy retiring type.
Continue ReadingA Muslim woman had her sc …
A Muslim woman had her scarf blown off. All will be re-veiled.
Continue ReadingI’ve just bought a car wi …
I’ve just bought a car with child locks. Now I have to wait for my son to open the door every time I want to go somewhere.
Continue ReadingI’ve burnt my library car …
I’ve burnt my library card as a silent protest.
Continue ReadingI was in goal last night …
I was in goal last night at a fancy dress football match and I decided to go as a Ku Klux Klan member. Managed to keep a clean sheet.
Continue ReadingThe line most commonly us …
The line most commonly used by cancer victims: Hair today, gone tomorrow!
Continue ReadingLife is like a box of cho …
Life is like a box of chocolates, It’s only when it’s nearly over you realise it was a mistake ever sharing it with someone
Continue ReadingI saw a sign the other da …
I saw a sign the other day that said “Do not use the elevator in case of fire” talk about paranoid
Continue ReadingNever trust a woman who h …
Never trust a woman who has a pet snake, or any pets, or no pets.
Continue ReadingJust bought a child’s wor …
Just bought a child’s workbench… It’s a Kony Playstation.
Continue ReadingTha. It’s not all that. …
Tha. It’s not all that.
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