Details have been release …
Details have been released of the film version of the best-selling book ’50 Shades of Grey’. The film will star James Spader & Maggie Gyllenhall, is to be called ‘Secretary’ and will be made 10 years ago.
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I have an uncontrollable …
I have an uncontrollable urge to play a flight simulator today…
Continue ReadingCan we all just agree to …
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I dont want to have to restart my collection.
Continue ReadingIrony is growing up think …
Irony is growing up thinking ur mum would be the one to catch you masturbating….
Continue ReadingI’m not arrogant im just …
I’m not arrogant im just genuinely better.
Continue ReadingSomeone’s been stealing f …
Someone’s been stealing from my Charles Bronson collection. Whoever it is, he’s got a death wish.
Continue ReadingThere’s nothing more anno …
There’s nothing more annoying or impersonal than receiving a ‘send to many’ text… Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone.
Continue ReadingWhen we were recruiting n …
When we were recruiting new agents into the CIA, one of the rookies lost his mind and began complaining: “Who designed this CIA logo?! I mean, the ‘C’ and ‘A’ are alright, but the ‘I’ looks awful!” I asked him “Who are you?” “I’m a freelance designer, I don’t know why I’m here!” I replied, […]
Continue ReadingNo water, no fuel, no Eng …
No water, no fuel, no England captain, no England manager, and no jobs. I’d write a letter of complaint if I could afford a stamp.
Continue ReadingMy mate tragically lost h …
My mate tragically lost his life the other day, and to make things worse I was there, and seen everything… at the wedding
Continue ReadingSome authors write in fir …
Some authors write in first person and others write in third person. But I’m writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: ‘I heard from this guy who told somebody….’
Continue ReadingI always wanted to be a r …
I always wanted to be a rock star when i was a young child….I got the excessive drinking right,but unfortunately forgot about the main things,learning an instrument and writing songs.
Continue ReadingI was cross dressing this …
I was cross dressing this morning, not only had I overslept, there was no hot water and we’d run out of milk….
Continue ReadingLuckily Big Ben wasn’t na …
Luckily Big Ben wasn’t named after his brother Richard
Continue ReadingFinancial Times: With the …
Financial Times: With the current financial uncertainty it is important people get their affairs in order. Well that’s easy. 1) Julie, from the pub, 2) Sandra, the wife’s sister, 3) Jennifer, from work.
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