I woke up this morning an …
I woke up this morning and felt like an 18 year old!! Could not find her so I got out of bed.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
In about 50 years from no …
In about 50 years from now,gravestones will read “Beloved Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, and Facebook friend.”
Continue ReadingI decided to play a pract …
I decided to play a practical joke on the wife earlier but she didn’t see the funny side when I wired up the front door to the power supply. She completely flew off the handle.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend text me and …
My girlfriend text me and said she couldn’t see me anymore. I was hiding behind the sofa.
Continue ReadingI wonder if the Queen has …
I wonder if the Queen has a golden shower?
Continue ReadingI applied for a job as a …
I applied for a job as a builder. At the interview, the employer said, “Here, you will have to fill this out before you can work for us.” He then handed me over a shirt.
Continue ReadingI have an existential map …
I have an existential map, it has’ you are here’ written all over it.
Continue ReadingEuroMillions jackpot winn …
EuroMillions jackpot winner will be richer than veteran pop stars Rod Stewart and David Bowie. Unless of course one of them won it.
Continue ReadingMy HIV test results have …
My HIV test results have come back, and they’re positive. I’m negative.
Continue ReadingI had to laugh whilst at …
I had to laugh whilst at the Zoo today. I’m a Hyena.
Continue ReadingWhat’s worse than finding …
What’s worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Finding a vein in your sausage.
Continue ReadingI released a film about e …
I released a film about erectile dysfunction. It turned into a big flop.
Continue Reading‘With great power comes a …
‘With great power comes a great electricity bill.’
Continue ReadingI just read an article ab …
I just read an article about a school in Botswana where the teachers would savagely beat their pupils if they got an answer wrong. That’s nothing! At my old school we had to use Internet Explorer.
Continue ReadingI tried out a bit of sele …
I tried out a bit of selective breeding once, crossed this flaming bright ginger guy with an ugly old cow. Now my beef roasts itself.
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