Me and my mate both love …
Me and my mate both love the same type of atomic bonding. How ionic.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My mother died whilst giv …
My mother died whilst giving birth to me. So I was breast fed by my grandma. It didn’t affect me though. Well, I like my milk past the sell by date now but that’s all.
Continue ReadingIf only Sickipedia had a …
If only Sickipedia had a penny every time somebody mashed F5… They could launch a takeover bid for Google and replace all search results with Sickipedia jokes. Oh, and possibly buy a new server.
Continue ReadingFacebook group: “I’m sick …
Facebook group: “I’m sick of you men telling us that women are bad drivers. How many of you can do 90mph in the fast lane of a motorway whilst putting on mascara?” That’s the hard shoulder love.
Continue ReadingSo it looks like Greece i …
So it looks like Greece is going to have to exit from the Euro and go back to their old currency. Typical of the Greeks, always making a Drachma out of a crisis.
Continue ReadingWhen I was little, I thou …
When I was little, I thought that being a vet would be the greatest job in the world. But then I got older and found out that it’s actually a lot more work than just putting down cats all day.
Continue ReadingWhy was Miranda Hart on C …
Why was Miranda Hart on Comic Relief? The unfunny bits are supposed to have African children in them.
Continue ReadingHandy tip: Start funny of …
Handy tip: Start funny office rumours and increase your promotion chances, by constantly sneaking into the womens toilets after your female boss has been in, and putting the toilet seats up!
Continue Reading1/3 people slip maths int …
1/3 people slip maths into everyday conversation.
Continue ReadingWho needs air when you’ve …
Who needs air when you’ve got chocolate free Aero?
Continue ReadingYo Momma is so fat, bounc …
Yo Momma is so fat, bouncy castles hire her for parties.
Continue ReadingHow many theoretical phys …
How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the light bulb and the other to rotate the universe.
Continue ReadingBBC News “Highland Toffee …
BBC News “Highland Toffee firm goes under” That’s hard to swallow
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend has an irra …
My girlfriend has an irrational fear of carnivals, so i’ve booked her in with a psychotherapist. It’s only fair.
Continue ReadingNever leave an atom alone …
Never leave an atom alone. You have to keep your ion it.
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