Science, Or, the way thin …
Science, Or, the way things worked before we invented God
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Argos: The shop which has …
Argos: The shop which has got everything in it, but you’re not allowed to see it.
Continue ReadingAhh good old December the …
Ahh good old December the 1st and finally the moustache has gone. My Girlfriend was starting to look like Tom Selleck.
Continue ReadingI’ve been reported to the …
I’ve been reported to the police for stalking. Oh Deer.
Continue ReadingI hate it when I get so d …
I hate it when I get so drunk that I wake up and put my shoes on the wrong feet. “Sorry” I said to her “Can you take them off, please.”
Continue ReadingI’m just logging on to fa …
I’m just logging on to facebook to see who’s ill and who’s kids are ill.
Continue ReadingThat’s the last time I ev …
That’s the last time I ever hire a black kid for my business. He strutted in this morning on his first day and I asked him “So, have you got a P45 with you?” “Nah, blud!” He replied, “I carry a .9mm.”
Continue Readingi tried a bit of online g …
i tried a bit of online gambling the other day… i bought a mattress on e-bay.
Continue ReadingI laid on a picnic for my …
I laid on a picnic for my girlfriend. It completely ruined the sandwiches.
Continue ReadingHaving a wife and as of y …
Having a wife and as of yet, an unborn child. There really is no place like home. Which is why I stay in the pub.
Continue ReadingMy doctor had to cut my a …
My doctor had to cut my aorta valve. It broke my heart.
Continue ReadingMy wife said, “I don’t kn …
My wife said, “I don’t know what I’d say if you ever won the lottery.” I said, “Oh, there’s three little words that spring to mind.” She said, “I love you?” I said, “No… where’s he gone?”
Continue Reading“Jersey the hottest part …
“Jersey the hottest part of the british isles”, isnt that a bit like claiming to be the best striker in the Heskey family.
Continue ReadingChivalry truly is dead. I …
Chivalry truly is dead. I held the door open for a girl once. She told me that she’s not walking into the men’s room.
Continue ReadingLast year in Africa me an …
Last year in Africa me and my mates saw some poor black kids kicking an empty can around.We felt sorry for them and decided to join them. We had a ball.
Continue Reading