Some people have started …
Some people have started calling me a village idiot, but I don’t know why. I don’t even live in a village.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
What bounces and makes ki …
What bounces and makes kids cry? My donation cheque to Children in Need.
Continue ReadingYou never realise what yo …
You never realise what you’ve got till it’s gone. Toilet paper being a good example.
Continue ReadingI have discovered why Bri …
I have discovered why British people are best at snooker. We are accustomed to queues from a young age
Continue ReadingI had an interview today …
I had an interview today with DFS and was told to take a seat when I arrived. Don’t get me wrong now, it’s a great seat and looks well in my kitchen but I would have preferred a job.
Continue ReadingMy mate asked me if I tho …
My mate asked me if I thought buying stolen property was just as bad as burglary. I’m sitting on the fence.
Continue ReadingWhy is it when Chris Tarr …
Why is it when Chris Tarrant secretly video tapes kids and gives them sweets he gets a tv show but when I do it………………
Continue ReadingI asked two girls in the …
I asked two girls in the park if they knew another word for the womb and they said, “Yeh, Uterus!” “And that your honour is consent in my book.”
Continue ReadingFor a laugh I stuck a pot …
For a laugh I stuck a potato up my mates car exhaust. He had the last laugh though, when it shot out and hit me in the eye. Looks like It backfired.
Continue ReadingI was walking down the st …
I was walking down the street when a tramp came up to me and asked if I had 10p for a cup of coffee. I replied “Here’s 20. get me one.”
Continue ReadingI get road rage all the t …
I get road rage all the time. One time I was on the road and the guy in front of me was driving really slow. I got so angry that in my outburst rage I just rammed the back of his car. Didnt quite work though seeing as I was riding a bicycle at the […]
Continue ReadingI found out the other day …
I found out the other day that my Dad was an undercover journalist. That was news to me…
Continue ReadingI used to wonder why I wa …
I used to wonder why I was getting nowhere in life; every step forward I made didn’t seem to take me anywhere… Then I realised I was on the descending escalator.
Continue ReadingMy mate swallowed his ton …
My mate swallowed his tongue last week. His shoes look stupid now.
Continue ReadingI had to have my wifes do …
I had to have my wifes dog put down yesterday, it was the only humane thing to do. There was no way he could have gone on living after the humilation of being seen in a pink and yellow hoodie.
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