Children seldom misquote …
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
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My boyfriend came round w …
My boyfriend came round with his 8 mates the other night and were trying to explaining something about a joke. After an hour i had to lie and say i got the joke as i was getting sore down there and he was getting angry. His mates are coming round next week when he`s at […]
Continue ReadingMy wife has hay fever, an …
My wife has hay fever, and on Sunday she had a very bad allergic reaction. Through swollen lips, and struggling to breath, she gasped “Call me a doctor.” “You’re a doctor.” I replied.
Continue ReadingWith all this unrest in E …
With all this unrest in Europe I have decided to learn German. You know what they say ‘Third time lucky!!’
Continue ReadingJust joined a gym. When a …
Just joined a gym. When asked what my goals were, I told them I wanted to look like Sylvester Stallone back in his prime. I’ve since decided to lodge a complaint though after the instructor just held my face against a radiator for half an hour.
Continue ReadingIf, in your relationship, …
If, in your relationship, you continue to hear, “You’re smothering me”, then you’re probably not holding the pillow down tight enough!
Continue ReadingMy old man used to have a …
My old man used to have a saying… “If it bleeds, butcher it” His job with St. Johns Ambulance didn’t last long….
Continue ReadingSnoods are the necks big …
Snoods are the necks big thing.
Continue ReadingChameleons: What are they …
Chameleons: What are they hiding?
Continue ReadingI work in a bar called Ad …
I work in a bar called Advice. I get really good tips.
Continue ReadingDatabase Latency again… …
Database Latency again… There are 540 of you looking at this page. It’s usually about 800 when there’s too many, One of the gameboys they use for servers must have run out of battery.
Continue ReadingI love tipping people, Wh …
I love tipping people, Wheelchair Basketball is the best.
Continue ReadingScientists in Fairbanks A …
Scientists in Fairbanks Alaska have announced that they have discovered a superconductor that will operate at room temperature.
Continue ReadingPeople call me a cynic, b …
People call me a cynic, but that’s only because they have ulterior motives
Continue Readingdid you hear about the dy …
did you hear about the dyslexic pervert? he took his nipple clamps back to M&S Direct
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