Ive just seen two tramps …
Ive just seen two tramps playing leapfrog and generally acting the goat. Silly beggars.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Stood next to a barrel of …
Stood next to a barrel of petrol earlier wondering what would happen was I to drop a match into it. Then I was enlightened
Continue ReadingI almost got into a fight …
I almost got into a fight with my new neighbour, Neil Buchanan, after I spilt some rubbish on his lawn. I apologised, and tried picking it up, but he just shouted “NO!” He clearly wanted to make something out of it.
Continue ReadingSo theres this one song f …
So theres this one song from Coldplay…….
Continue ReadingHaha, one of my colleague …
Haha, one of my colleagues has just come to work dressed as a woman for Children In Need. Congratulations, that was a very brave thing to do, Karen.
Continue ReadingSome Paki kid called me a …
Some Paki kid called me a douchebag earlier… I replied ‘Calling me something loosely translated as ‘washbag’ isn’t as offensive to us, but I see where you’re coming from…’
Continue ReadingI’ve offended a lot of pe …
I’ve offended a lot of people with my trolling on the Internet, but it’s all water under the bridge now.
Continue ReadingI just saw a Facebook gro …
I just saw a Facebook group called “Glasgows finest.” Apparently, even our finest don’t have a firm grasp of proper punctuation.
Continue ReadingI’ve got a mate with no c …
I’ve got a mate with no confidence at all and I call him the Frightened Balloon. He’s just so scared of being let down.
Continue ReadingMy football team’s undefe …
My football team’s undefeated in 30 games this season which were all 4-1 with one 4-4. I love playing for the Musketeers.
Continue ReadingBest way of avoiding bein …
Best way of avoiding being clamped? Buy four clamps and put one on each wheel.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between a comedienne and God. Nothing, no evidence exists to suggest the existence of either.
Continue ReadingNo mail for 3 weeks now. …
No mail for 3 weeks now. Think my Postman’s got the sack.
Continue ReadingI went to the pub today, …
I went to the pub today, and got myself a carvery. The barmaid said, “Just help yourself with the food, then take it to your table.” By the time I got it home, It was stone cold.
Continue ReadingWhenever I talk to a Chin …
Whenever I talk to a Chinese person, I always feel like my face is blurry.
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