30% of people don’t belie …
30% of people don’t believe TV advertising. The other 70% said their cats preferred Whiskas.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
It’s the little things in …
It’s the little things in life that make me happy. Life is hard with a midget fetish.
Continue ReadingI took a Taxi to work thi …
I took a Taxi to work this morning. I ate it around 10 o’clock with a nice cup of coffee.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s resting in peac …
My wife’s resting in peace. Which is why this prank involving a bucket of water and a foghorn is going to be hilarious.
Continue ReadingSome people call me an im …
Some people call me an immature bighead, It’s not my fault my high horse is bigger than theirs.
Continue ReadingI’ve always been able to …
I’ve always been able to tell my left and my right by using the simple system of not being an idiot.
Continue ReadingI am a really nervous fly …
I am a really nervous flyer. So on a recent flight from Beirut in stormy weather you can imagine my relief when, shortly after take off, the pilot announced it would be plane sailing from here.
Continue ReadingIf I were to make money o …
If I were to make money out of thin air, it’d be fraud. If a bank does it, it’s “credit”
Continue Reading“Daddy, why is mum zig-za …
“Daddy, why is mum zig-zagging down the garden?” “Quiet son, I’m trying to aim.”
Continue ReadingOn a scale of 0 to Anne B …
On a scale of 0 to Anne Boleyn how off your head were you last night?
Continue ReadingThe BBC are to commission …
The BBC are to commission a new tv show about tramps on heroin. It’s called Bins & Needles.
Continue ReadingI swear to god, one day I …
I swear to god, one day I will have my revenge. One day it’ll be the onion crying.
Continue ReadingI’ve just got back from A …
I’ve just got back from Australia… whilst I was there I learned some Aborigine words like ‘Boo’ – which means to return…..because when you throw an ordinary meringue……
Continue ReadingI went to Blackpool on ho …
I went to Blackpool on holiday and knocked at the first boarding house that I came to. A women stuck her head out of an upstairs window and said ‘What do you want?’. ‘I’d like to stay here’ ‘Ok. Stay there’
Continue ReadingIf love is blind, is ling …
If love is blind, is lingerie considered Braille?
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