“Their are plenty more fi …
“Their are plenty more fish in the sea”. Then why is it that as soon as I get my tackle out in public I seem to get arrested?
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NEWS: Teresa Lewis execut …
NEWS: Teresa Lewis executed by lethal injection in Virginia. That’s a bit harsh. I thought they would’ve at least put the needle in her arm.
Continue ReadingNever wear skinny jeans i …
Never wear skinny jeans if you don’t have skinny genes.
Continue ReadingJust met some Africans wh …
Just met some Africans who doesn’t have to walk twenty miles for water. They’re well equipped.
Continue ReadingAt a four way stop, it’s …
At a four way stop, it’s obvious that the vehicle bearing the most duct tape goes first.
Continue ReadingMy wife said she’s leavin …
My wife said she’s leaving me because I keep slipping authors’ names into conversation. I don’t know what she’s Tolkien about.
Continue ReadingI can’t believe I just fo …
I can’t believe I just folded at the World Ironing Championships. I forgot my iron.
Continue ReadingReasons why you should be …
Reasons why you should be allowed to get drunk at work: 1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what […]
Continue ReadingNo new jokes in the last …
No new jokes in the last half hour, what happened, did someone cure death?
Continue ReadingLady Gaga says she has th …
Lady Gaga says she has the coolest fans. Which is the whole point in having a fan, isn’t it?
Continue ReadingA young boy enters a barb …
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a 2 pound coin in one hand and two 50ps in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you […]
Continue ReadingFriends of my wife and I, …
Friends of my wife and I, recently bought a Farm, and decided to invite us to a “House warming” party. I said to my wife, “What shall we get them for a present?” “How about this long length of rope with bucket attached?” she replied. “Yes,” said I. “I am sure that will go down […]
Continue ReadingI swung the door open and …
I swung the door open and strode in. Waving my six shooter around, I exclaimed loudly “I’m looking for the man who shot my Pa” “Sorry love” said a girl with some scissors, “This is a Salon”
Continue ReadingI’m seeing a girl at the …
I’m seeing a girl at the moment. She’s been in the dining room for 10 minutes, and she’s just walking in to the kitchen now.
Continue ReadingI’m addicted to rehab…. …
I’m addicted to rehab…. But where do I go?
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