I’ve been feeling really …
I’ve been feeling really tired at work lately, so I’m going to book a rest tomorrow. I love Romainia at this time of the year.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
What do you call a Russia …
What do you call a Russian electrician? Switchitonanov
Continue ReadingAs a necrophiliac who lov …
As a necrophiliac who loves swingers, I’m hoping they bring back death by hanging.
Continue ReadingI like to imagine Che Gue …
I like to imagine Che Guevara joining Twitter, agonising over which picture to use as his avatar.
Continue ReadingMy Internet history is so …
My Internet history is so dirty even my Internet Provider has lost its virginity.
Continue ReadingMy mate drives nails in w …
My mate drives nails in with his bare hands and uses his teeth to unscrew the toughest screws. What a tool.
Continue ReadingBreaking News: Dangerous …
Breaking News: Dangerous malfunctioning new iPod headphones explode whilst playing songs. Deaf toll rises.
Continue ReadingDid you know people are g …
Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses? That’s as crazy as the discounts at Dave’s Furniture Emporium…
Continue ReadingI was arrested at a bike …
I was arrested at a bike show for indecent exposure. In my defense, she did ask to see my helmet.
Continue ReadingGryffindor: I’m brave and …
Gryffindor: I’m brave and loyal. Ravenclaw: I’m smart and logical. Slytherin: I’m ambitious and cunning. Hufflepuff: …I like turtles.
Continue ReadingA man goes into a library …
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on Native American homesteads. Librarian says, “We don’t have it at the moment, I’ll put it on reservation”.
Continue ReadingIt was a very sad day whe …
It was a very sad day when I took my cat to the vet. The vet looked at me and said, “I’m afraid your cat won’t last long, it’s the big C…” “What? Cancer?” I replied. “No,” he answered, “curiosity.”
Continue ReadingPeople from Hull speak wi …
People from Hull speak with a distinctive accent which can make certain expressions ambiguous. For instance, ‘half hearted’ can mean ‘lacking enthusiasm’ or ‘I have just broken wind’.
Continue ReadingWhats the difference betw …
Whats the difference between rob green and jade goody? Jade goody could have saved that.
Continue ReadingI’m going to an auction t …
I’m going to an auction this weekend. I’m hoping to get something for my wife. I’d be happy with a tenner.
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