My wife and I have a love …
My wife and I have a love / hate relationship. She loves me. I hate her.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I spent all day making a …
I spent all day making a mug, but when I went to pick it up, half of it fell off! I didn’t handle it very well.
Continue ReadingI was working at a sport …
I was working at a sport equipment factory the other day and I got told off by my supervisor. Apparently I was making a racket.
Continue ReadingFUN FACT: Of all the prof …
FUN FACT: Of all the professions, Chimney Sweeps have the worst carbon footprint
Continue ReadingAs the pharmacist handed …
As the pharmacist handed me my antibiotics he said, “You mustn’t drink while taking them.” “That’s a challenge” I thought, as the first one I tried to swallow got lodged in my throat.
Continue ReadingI think that they should …
I think that they should remake the milky way advert. ‘the red car and the blue blue car tried to race, But all red wanted to do was stuff his face. But before he could even try Petrol prices rose to high. So the race was cancelled.’
Continue ReadingAfter successfully buildi …
After successfully building my time machine, I travelled forward to 22-12-2012, the day after the end of the Apocalypse. What I saw frightened me, a burning, desolate, charred, dead wasteland. A sense of desolation, deep inconsolable loneliness & hopelessness washed over me. I cried for mankind, for what we had done to ourselves & each […]
Continue Reading“I’m at breaking point” m …
“I’m at breaking point” my wife said. “Snap” I replied.
Continue ReadingA yank walks into a bar a …
A yank walks into a bar and walks straight out again! It was a salad bar.
Continue ReadingMy wife says I have the a …
My wife says I have the attention span of a
Continue ReadingJust took my pork pie bac …
Just took my pork pie back to the butchers after finding a curved penny in it. It’s not the first time a bent copper has been found in Melton Mowbray.
Continue ReadingNever take a crash course …
Never take a crash course in aviation. Unless, of course, you’re a muslim.
Continue ReadingI have all the money I’ll …
I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 10:00 p.m. tonight.
Continue ReadingI reversed a Toyota yeste …
I reversed a Toyota yesterday. Ended up where I started.
Continue ReadingAccording to the new scho …
According to the new school curriculum, children from the age of five will be expected to learn and recite poetry. We always read poetry at my school anyway. It’s just most of it was written in the school toilets.
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