Author: qjoq.com

I couldn’t be more lazy if I tried.

There are plenty of benefits of driving home in the dark, now I don’t have to put up with those awkward moments when I pull up to a traffic light and catch the woman sitting next to me staring right into the car. Whilst I pick my nose.

The wife has bet me 500 pound that I can’t cross the river Thames without getting my feet wet whilst wearing a straw boater. Gotta be worth a punt.

I’ll never forget the day I met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party. She was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate. They’d gone together, dressed as the number ten. I knew there and then, she was the one.

I was on the phone to Led Zeppelin the other day and I was suddenly disconnected. Must have been a communication breakdown.

I can’t stop thinking about the Alhambra Palace in Granada. Very Moorish.