Happy Birthday Google, co …
Happy Birthday Google, correcting bad spelling since 1998
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I think a Jews been using …
I think a Jews been using my internet. All the cache is gone.
Continue ReadingI told the Missus there w …
I told the Missus there was no way she could back the car into the garage, But she did it perfectly, Reverse psychology.
Continue ReadingWhat came first the chick …
What came first the chicken on the egg? Well it’s obviously the egg. When have you ever had chicken for breakfast?
Continue ReadingI got a leaflet through m …
I got a leaflet through my door today, it read ‘Post people wanted’. Why don’t they employ these people who post these leaflets instead?
Continue ReadingI cant stand protesters. …
I cant stand protesters. But I don’t know how to tell anyone.
Continue ReadingI’ve just settled somethi …
I’ve just settled something I’ve wondered for years. After spending 6 hours in A&E I can safely confirm that Viennetta trays are not made of chocolate.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend was furious …
My girlfriend was furious when she came home to find two naked women, covered in edible body paint and tied to our bed. I don’t know what her problem is, she said that she liked chocolatey Claires.
Continue ReadingMy 8 year old son reckone …
My 8 year old son reckoned he was old enough to go out on his own at night, so I sent him to get our fish supper at the chippie (The Fishy Finger), which is on a particularly dodgy estate. As a joke I asked him to get ‘a battered ring’. That was three days […]
Continue ReadingMy wife’s just nipped out …
My wife’s just nipped out. She really needs to get a new bra.
Continue Readingwhats red and sits in the …
whats red and sits in the corner? a naughty strawberry
Continue ReadingMy mate works, free of ch …
My mate works, free of charge, attracting sharks for holidaymakers to photograph. Chump.
Continue ReadingI lost my job last week b …
I lost my job last week but I’m not too upset as I went out the way I came in. Fired with enthusiasm.
Continue ReadingI never buy Corn Flakes B …
I never buy Corn Flakes Because ‘I’ve forgotten how good they taste’. I can’t see how this situation is ever going to change.
Continue ReadingIf an Earl is awarded an …
If an Earl is awarded an O.B.E, does he become an earlobe?
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