A bloke knocked at the do …
A bloke knocked at the door this morning collecting for the homeless. So I gave him some old cardboard and my daughter’s recorder.
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I’ve just been fired from …
I’ve just been fired from my window cleaning job. I lost my rag.
Continue Readinghow annoying would it be …
how annoying would it be if you got a MAIL every time you got a notification on facebook
Continue ReadingMy kids were so excited w …
My kids were so excited when I told them I was taking them to Lapland. Little do they know it’s the name of our local athletics track.
Continue ReadingI see Ubisoft have releas …
I see Ubisoft have released a new “Michael Jackson: The Experience” computer game. I look forward to buying it for my kids and then playing with them.
Continue ReadingI went to the doctor for …
I went to the doctor for a check -up. He said, “The best advice I can give you is to give up smoking and drinking, lose weight and get more exercise.” I said, “What’s the next-best advice?”
Continue ReadingMy mate posted a Facebook …
My mate posted a Facebook status saying ‘Pop-up?’ I sent him a link which explained how to get ripped in 3 weeks.
Continue ReadingWhen I die, I want my tom …
When I die, I want my tombstone to have free WiFI, so people visit more often.
Continue ReadingI thought students are su …
I thought students are supposed to be tight for cash but my dad has just told me that he saw some tipping a police van . I don’t even tip a taxi .
Continue ReadingMedia Studies. Because we …
Media Studies. Because we can’t all be clever.
Continue ReadingI don’t mind Black kids, …
I don’t mind Black kids, I’m a very choosy babysitter..
Continue Reading“Do you know what the gre …
“Do you know what the green cross code is son?” “Yeh, Don’t make me angry, you won’t like me when I’m angry.”
Continue ReadingI smoked a joint earlier. …
I smoked a joint earlier. All I need to do now is cure it and I’ll have the best Christmas ham you’ve ever seen.
Continue ReadingI got told that I lack or …
I got told that I lack originality. “So does your mum” was my reply.
Continue ReadingBecause I don’t work and …
Because I don’t work and I sit around playing computer games all day I balance the feelings of guilt and shame by playing ‘Career Mode’ between the hours of 9.00am – 5.00pm
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