Last year , all of my dre …
Last year , all of my dreams came true. This year , I’m sat here in this prison cell , wishing that they hadn’t.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My mother-in-law came ove …
My mother-in-law came over yesterday. I made sure I used bull’s milk in her cup of tea.
Continue ReadingI just saw a group on Fac …
I just saw a group on Facebook saying, “My Girlfriend will marry me if 1,700,000 people join.” Does anyone else think that making a group that says, “If 2,000,000 people join I will give Maddie back,” is a good way to get friends?
Continue ReadingA lady calls the police t …
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he’s 6 foot 2 inches tall, has blonde wavy hair and a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbour to verify this report and the […]
Continue ReadingI called the Drug Advice …
I called the Drug Advice Bureau and said, “I’ve just taken some cocaine and need some advice. I can’t hardly hear anything now.” “It must be a bad line,” she said “Try again later.”
Continue ReadingThe penalty for masturbat …
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. Wow. Talk about a stiff penalty. I really don’t like their penal system over there.
Continue ReadingI got a raw deal yesterda …
I got a raw deal yesterday. As much sushi as you like for 3.
Continue ReadingI took a lie detector tes …
I took a lie detector test. No I didn’t.
Continue ReadingI said, “I love you, darl …
I said, “I love you, darling” My wife said, “Ah, what’s brought this on?” I said, “No reason, I just wanted to say it” She said, “Ah, well thanks honey. I love you too” I said, “Oh by the way, your mum rang. She only went and won Euromillions last night”
Continue ReadingI woke up this morning to …
I woke up this morning to find my garage had been robbed. Immediately I phoned the police. “There’s been a spate of burglaries in the area recently,” said the officer, “mainly bikes, lawnmowers. It’s probably kids. Could you describe what’s missing?” “Yes, it’s a 35ft by 28ft brick-built garage with an electric door.”
Continue ReadingI broke the news to my wi …
I broke the news to my wife this morning that her mum and dad died in a car crash last night, she’s been crying all morning. Personally, I think its the best april fools I’ve ever done
Continue ReadingMy goal before the end of …
My goal before the end of next month is to fix my camera Now that’s something to focus on.
Continue ReadingI’ve got Miss America in …
I’ve got Miss America in the bag! I’m taking her home with me.
Continue Readingive just joined a group o …
ive just joined a group on facebook called All Facebook Females Unite In One Group! {JOIN AND INVITE FEMALES ONLY!! } as a male it was my duty to remind them they should be in the kitchen
Continue ReadingDue to financial problems …
Due to financial problems in my company, I’ve had to introduce some cost-cutting steps. They’re just outside the front doors and I’ve pushed 6 employees down them already.
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