Author: qjoq.com

I can’t understand why my new automatic Glade air freshener doesn’t work even though I’ve just put brand new batteries in it. It doesn’t make scents.

I’ve been out ploughing snow all day. I still don’t think any crops are going to grow in it though.

Women are like lawn mowers. If you’re not pushing one around, then you’re riding it.

A dress of Amy Winehouse sold for 43,200 today. That sounds excessive, but you have to remember a lot of needlework went into it.

Tories. Putting the ‘n’ in cuts

My wife got home from work so I drew her a nice, deep, hot bath. And wrote some cleaning instructions underneath it. Then I drew an oven.

I think I’ve gone mental. Here I am, trying to work out an anagram of the word ‘grown’. It’s not a joke guys, please don’t laugh. It’s just wrong.

I was looking for a new job today and came across a really well paid one as a human hat stand. Not much job security though, you can lose your job at the drop of a hat.

I was quite happy when I saw my phone bill tonight. Frank my fridge and Mike the microwave seemed a tad jealous though.

Am I a loud dyslexic? Not quiet.