Author: qjoq.com

When people say ‘He’s an unsavoury character’, doesn’t that mean he’s sweet?

I went to a party hosted by T Mobile last night. I got really drunk and kept trying to change the tunes that the DJ was playing. Not only that, but I projectile vomited all over the dance floor and started a fight that turned into a saloon style brawl involving a number of people. […]

Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away… or is it just one of Granny’s myths?

Giving up drugs is hard, but I’ll have a crack at it.

“Dr, Dr. I’ve swallowed a chickpea, I think I might die”. “Sorry sir, I can’t find a pulse”.

Wish I hadn’t bought a house in Grimsby. Neighbours from Hull.

I remember when they turned down my first application to become a Big Issue seller. I had to beg.

It was the Christmas fun day at the homeless shelter parlour. You should have seen their little starving faces light up during the bingo when I said we were playing for a house.

Pharaoh nough. A rather laid back Egyptian king.