“Come on in,” I said to t …
“Come on in,” I said to the neighbour at the front door. “I’d rather not,” she said, “I’ve got dirty feet.” “That doesn’t matter,” I said. “You can keep your shoes on.”
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Sometimes pregnancy lasts …
Sometimes pregnancy lasts so long it seems like a maternity.
Continue ReadingOn a website I regularly …
On a website I regularly visit there is a link to donate to the site to ‘help keep the site free’. I’m not sure they know what ‘free’ means.
Continue ReadingMy mate dropped a box of …
My mate dropped a box of Italian pastries on the floor. I cannoli imagine what he must be going through.
Continue ReadingTwo University of Califor …
Two University of California, Davis students are facing charges after police say they tortured two hamsters with a cigarette lighter and posted a video of the incident on Facebook. Richard Gere alerted authorities when he recognized the hamsters.
Continue ReadingHas anyone seen them colo …
Has anyone seen them coloured contact lenses? In my eyes, they look stupid.
Continue ReadingMy Dad claimed there were …
My Dad claimed there were only two certainties in life : Death and Taxes. Strange he should have been killed by a mini-cab.
Continue ReadingI have a miniature cat. I …
I have a miniature cat. It was born a normal kitten but I only fed it condensed milk.
Continue ReadingTo ease the overcrowding …
To ease the overcrowding in prisons why dont they release the murderers but make them wear a little bell round their necks. This method has certainly worked on my cat which used to kill no end of birds, but has not killed one since I fixed it to his collar.
Continue ReadingA Scouser goes into a lib …
A Scouser goes into a library and ask for a book about suicide. The librarian says: “Sod it, I wish I hadn’t recommended it to that ginger now.”
Continue ReadingI’ve never heard of a Jew …
I’ve never heard of a Jew being a member on Sickipedia… Presume that’s because they’d rather give 0.2 than 1
Continue ReadingHad a flash pop-up on the …
Had a flash pop-up on the internet which said “suicide bombers wanted!” gosh, I was blown away decided to take a look and had pictures of suicide jumpers, I thought.. I’m not falling for this
Continue ReadingA good friend of mine has …
A good friend of mine has just been on holiday & he was showing me some slides he brought back last night. I said, “We do have playgrounds in Britain you know.”
Continue ReadingI am such a good employee …
I am such a good employee, I was even working during lunch today! I work at Subway….
Continue ReadingI love the new flavoured …
I love the new flavoured milks you can buy these days. My personal favourites are ‘banana’, ‘strawberry’, and ‘missing girl’ flavour.
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