qjoq.com – Page 1317

I was visited by the ghos …

November 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I was visited by the ghost of Christmas present. Serves me right for not putting air-holes in it.

I’ve got a date for tomor …

November 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I’ve got a date for tomorrow. 10th Jan 2010.

Fisting just ain’t doing …

November 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Fisting just ain’t doing it for my girlfriend anymore. I’m gonna have to start using my head to save this relationship.

I was going to start taki …

November 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I was going to start taking self defence lessons but I decided on algebra instead. I’m a firm believer there’s safety in numbers

So a pigeon beat broadban …

November 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment

So a pigeon beat broadband in a race. That’s impressive, but i still can’t watch two girls one cup on a bird.

I caused an uproar earlie …

November 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I caused an uproar earlier when I put a lion in a hot air balloon.

I’ve seen some sickening …

November 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I’ve seen some sickening sights on Comic Relief tonight Susan Boyle’s face to name but one.

Trust me, if you want the …

November 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Trust me, if you want the birds to flock around you, screaming and begging you for what you have to offer… Buy some chips at the sea-side.

“One ring to rule them all, “One ring to find them, “One ring to bring them all “And, in the darkness bind, them.” Ironic that the “One Ring” that has the ability to bind mankind in darkness and bring nothing but pain and misery to the world looks suspiciously like a wedding ring.

Whenever times are troubl …

November 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Whenever times are troubled, I like to remember the words of my old scoutmaster. “Shhh, it’ll be our little secret”.

My wife of 25 years has n …

November 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment

My wife of 25 years has never had an accident whilst driving my car, until today. I lent it to her for the first time this morning.

After examining the wife …

November 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment

After examining the wife thoroughly, the doctor said: “Come back in three weeks and bring your faeces, please.” Three weeks later, I was dropping her off at the doctor’s just before her appointment: “Well, good luck, Babe,” I said. “I’m sure everything’ll be fine. By the way, what’s in the suitcases?”