Just watching the Brazil …
Just watching the Brazil match on TV. That Robinho looks good, if I was the Manchester City manager I’d try and sign him.
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I honestly do think that …
I honestly do think that my daughter’s new mini-skirt looks rather tight and revealing, but I like to wear it anyway…
Continue ReadingI’m amazed by last nights …
I’m amazed by last nights antics in the east end , I couldn’t believe it when I saw it only one person stabbed!
Continue ReadingTowards the end of his ca …
Towards the end of his career Steve Jobs had gone from entrepreneur to gaunter-preneur.
Continue ReadingI know a bloke who is see …
I know a bloke who is seeing the most ugly barf you could ever imagine. He lives on a farm and keeps bees and sells honey. Everyone keeps telling him to go and meet a half-decent looking bird but he insists he loves her. I guess beauty is in the eye of the beeholder.
Continue ReadingI’ve just seen ‘Ghost’ ag …
I’ve just seen ‘Ghost’ again. Its a lot scarier now Patrick Swayzes’ really dead.
Continue ReadingOur local vicar insists o …
Our local vicar insists on giving sermons with the aid of his computer. We end up sitting in church for hours because he’s so slow. I think we need a new service provider.
Continue ReadingThe wife has got that goo …
The wife has got that good at bonsai, we’re having to move to a house with a smaller garden.
Continue ReadingA foolish man will tell a …
A foolish man will tell a woman to shut up. A wise man will tell a woman she is beautiful with her lips closed.
Continue ReadingI got my girlfriend a rin …
I got my girlfriend a ring with a carrot on for her birthday. She wanted 24 carrots but that just looked stupid.
Continue ReadingSome woman had the cheek …
Some woman had the cheek to knock my door and ask me if I knew where the garden centre was. “I don’t work here love, I’m just carrying my new door out to the car”, I replied.
Continue ReadingI went in to the bank tod …
I went in to the bank today with my missus and the cashier said to me, “Would you like to open a joint account?” I replied, “That depends. How much are you going to put in?”
Continue ReadingBored? Theres a Job for t …
Bored? Theres a Job for that
Continue ReadingAn English man, an Irish …
An English man, an Irish man and Scots man walk into a pub. The Sun’s stories have become really dull now they can’t hack voicemails.
Continue ReadingI was frozen with fear wh …
I was frozen with fear when I realised several black men were following me …So I decided to cancel my Twitter account
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