Did you hear about the gu …
Did you hear about the guy who ran naked through a crowded church? They caught him by the organ.
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It’s just cost me two gra …
It’s just cost me two grand to get my girlfriend two pairs of shoes and have her nails done. I suppose I should expect nothing less when dating a horse.
Continue ReadingI was driving behind a ca …
I was driving behind a car today when it suddenly pulled over and a woman stepped out. She walked up to my window and said, “I’ve got a flat”. I said, “Ok, I’ll follow you there”.
Continue ReadingI’ve been watching the go …
I’ve been watching the golf for hours now and I’m getting rather bored. But it is brand new, I don’t have a garage and I live in a rough area.
Continue ReadingMy local supermarket goes …
My local supermarket goes to extreme lengths to ensure the freshness of their products. The dairy section consists of a cow in a fridge.
Continue Readinghad a food fight earlier …
had a food fight earlier but couldn’t find the French mustard anywhere.
Continue ReadingI’m giving up E’s for Lnt …
I’m giving up E’s for Lnt
Continue ReadingI was counting quartz and …
I was counting quartz and amethyst today…. I am addicted to crystal math.
Continue ReadingHow many people are now s …
How many people are now sorely disappointed after googleing David Richards UFO photo to no avail?
Continue ReadingI often use words and phr …
I often use words and phrases I don’t understand and vice versa.
Continue Reading“Returning stolen goods” …
“Returning stolen goods” is the new black.
Continue ReadingDid you sleep good? No, …
Did you sleep good? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Continue ReadingThe barman said to me, “G …
The barman said to me, “Good evening, Sir, what can I get for you?” “I’ll have a shot of everything on the top row please”, I replied. He got my drinks and tried to charge me 100. I said, “I thought you were getting them.”
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend has been mi …
My girlfriend has been missing for two weeks now and yesterday I got the phone call from the police that I’d been dreading, asking me to come down to the morgue with them to identify her body. I was shaking with fear when the mortician pulled back the sheet, but after looking for a minute […]
Continue ReadingHeard in the news today t …
Heard in the news today that Drug Rhab are still trying to find out who took the E.
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