What’s blue and can’t sin …
What’s blue and can’t sing? A Ford Focus
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
To me, good exercise is s …
To me, good exercise is soaking in a tub, pulling the plug, and fighting the current !
Continue ReadingPeople ask me how I come …
People ask me how I come up with jokes concerning cream products on acne. Truth is, I make it up on the spot.
Continue ReadingI was picking up the new …
I was picking up the new girlfriend on my motorbike for the first time. “Ooh what shall I wear?” she texted. “Well if you’ve got any leathers I’d wear them,” I replied back. I shan’t be seeing her again now … But the lads at the vintage motorcycle club said her gimp mask was hilarious.
Continue ReadingI wrote a book on coffee. …
I wrote a book on coffee. Without it I would never have met the deadline.
Continue ReadingWhen I came home from wor …
When I came home from work last night my wife asked me to start on the tea. So I squared up to the chops and pushed the potatoes over.
Continue ReadingI was driving along a dar …
I was driving along a dark road, then I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the figure of a man. I immediately stopped the car and got out as quick as I could. Then a few moments later I returned to the car, feeling like such an idiot.. I completely forgot that I […]
Continue ReadingLife is like a box of cho …
Life is like a box of chocolates. In the middle of it, you realize you’re fat and no one loves you.
Continue ReadingJust think how many lotte …
Just think how many lottery tickets you could buy if you won the lottery.
Continue ReadingYahoo news: “Murdoch tur …
Yahoo news: “Murdoch turns on editor, lawyer in phone hacking probe” The rest of the court room found the finger sucking and gyrating a little uncomfortable.
Continue ReadingI was flying my light air …
I was flying my light aircraft when I encountered engine trouble. I had to ditch in a lake. I was really worried at first but it was plane sailing really.
Continue ReadingI just walked into a woma …
I just walked into a woman with wonky eyes. She looked cross.
Continue ReadingI dropped my laptop off t …
I dropped my laptop off the side of a boat the other day. It’s a Dell, rolling in the deep.
Continue ReadingBritain has been declared …
Britain has been declared the “booziest” nation in the world. Now off down the pub to celebrate the good news.
Continue ReadingI had a hard time watchin …
I had a hard time watching the primary school nativity play.
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