enrolled in parachute sch …
enrolled in parachute school the other week, unfortunately i had to drop out
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THE PEOPLE: Pole dancing …
THE PEOPLE: Pole dancing at 3 Better make it quick, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment at 5:30.
Continue ReadingThe manager of DFS has be …
The manager of DFS has been spotted outside the local primary school giving away suites
Continue ReadingI’ve recently started a j …
I’ve recently started a job retrieving litter. It didn’t require any training, I just picked it up as I went along.
Continue ReadingSo my girlfriend just nea …
So my girlfriend just nearly broke up with me, over the phone before shouting APRIL FOOLS! Jokes on her, I’ve just sent her a text from her dead Father’s old phone.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s not very good w …
My wife’s not very good when it comes to flying. I noticed that when I pushed her off the cliff.
Continue ReadingWhat does a bird do witho …
What does a bird do without a beak? Succeed.
Continue ReadingI was in a job interview …
I was in a job interview today, the interviewer asked, “Have you ever had to think on your feet?” I said, “Yes, quite often I find myself wondering where to sit down?”
Continue ReadingStatement: “You’re the on …
Statement: “You’re the only girl I’ve ever cared about.” True Meaning: “You are the only girl who hasn’t rejected me.”
Continue ReadingThe other day, I felt lik …
The other day, I felt like a chicken. So I crossed the road and went to KFC.
Continue ReadingAs my wife lay on her dea …
As my wife lay on her death bed, I asked the doctor, “Well, any news yet?” “No. You ask me that every 5 minutes.” “OK. Just let me know so I can update her Facebook status.”
Continue ReadingIsn’t it ironic that most …
Isn’t it ironic that most jokes that start with, “Isn’t it ironic…” aren’t ironic?
Continue ReadingIs it only me who has not …
Is it only me who has noticed the Glory Sheikhers sat behind Alex Ferguson?
Continue ReadingI recently tried to join …
I recently tried to join the Magic Circle, but failed the interview. They kept asking me trick questions.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between my kitchen and the council? My kitchen always has enough salt.
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